You know why I can’t stand United Airlines?

United Airlines dispatches thousands of flights every day. They shoot tens of thousands of humans safely through the sky at six hundred miles an hour in metal tubes. They serve passengers cold drinks and hot food. They have call center reps, gate agents, baggage handlers, dispatchers, flight attendants, and pilots- many moving around thousands of locations across the globe, every day. They never sleep. Their planes are always in the air. Scanning tickets, checking bags, and marching guests in and out of airplanes every hour of every day. And if that’s not enough, they have a mobile app, a website, a massive software system, and thousands of people in call centers, offices, control rooms, and airports to keep it all together. Blizzards, high winds, missed connections, crying babies, upset customers complaining in hundreds of languages, and passengers getting sick on their airplanes. Thousands of bathrooms to clean, every day. Even on Christmas.

And why can’t I stand United Airlines? The internet. It’s terrible.

Although I expect United to comfortably and safely ship me around the world- often for the same price as what it costs to send a small envelope via overnight Fedex from Denver to San Francisco- I can’t stand United because the internet doesn’t work half the time it’s supposed to.

Hospitality is symphony. Hotel General Managers are conductors. Housekeepers, flight attendants, and dishwashers are the orchestra. And each aspect of guest expectations and service delivery is a musical instrument. When the entire ensemble plays together seamlessly, it’s elegant and beautiful. But if one member misses a beat, if one instrument is out of tune, the entire piece falls flat.

Please fix your internet, United. You work too hard to be the shitty internet company.